4 types of Love

The Bible describes four kinds of love which God designed for the good of mankind.

Agape which is spiritual and sacrificial.

Philos which is friendship.

Stoge / Paternal this is love for family.

Eros Romance

All forms of love have some things in common. While poodles and great Danes and bull dogs are very different they have many similarities because they are all dogs. There is a general dogness about them.

While there are clear distinctions between Agape, Philos, Family, and romance love they are all still love.

God IS Love 1 John 4:8 & 16

This thought repeated several times in Scripture and demonstrated many ways shows that the essential nature of God is that He loves.

All four forms of love are:

1] Enjoyable

2] Necessary

3] God Designed

4] Holy

All four can be done Gods way or destroyed by ignoring God’s teaching.

John 15:12 & 13 This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.”

Jeremiah 31:3 The Lord hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with loving-kindness have I drawn thee.

1 John 4:21 And this commandment we received from him, that he who loves God must love his brother also.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

1 John 4:19 We love him, because he first loved us.

Matthew 22:37-40 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. [38] This is the first and great commandment. [39] And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. [40] On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

Characteristics of All Love

Love is . . . profound concern for the well-being of another, without any desire to control that other, to be thanked by that other, or to enjoy the process. Madeleine L’Engle (1918– )

Is this true for friendship for family love for Agape Yes

Charity sees the need, not the cause. German Proverb

This is wrong but I understand its point. What this proverb is trying to say is that if you really love someone you wont point out that you deserve that stomach ache because you just ate 3 pounds of fruit cake.

It is wrong in that if you know someone who is frequently getting stomach aches and you know that eating 3 pounds of fruitcake at a time is probably causing it, the love thing to do is to tell them.

Love accepts people as they are; love can take insults without ill will. Erwin W. Lutzer (1941– )

1 Pet 4:8 Above all, continue to love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.

That means if I point out your flaws if i call attention to your shortcomings (which we all have) then I am not being loving. Agape Philos or Parental

There is a limit to that. Your covering someone's sin does not go to the extent of covering up for their crimes or enabling them becoming codependent by helping the drunk buy booze. But generally it does mean that as Christians we will be positive people not critical people.

1 Cor. 13:4-8 (NAB) Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated, [5] it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, [6] it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. [7] It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

[8] Love never fails. If there are prophecies, they will be brought to nothing; if tongues, they will cease; if knowledge, it will be brought to nothing.

God loved the world. Go thou and do likewise. Erwin W. Lutzer (1941– )

We are the temple of God we are called Christians Christ like ones thus we are God containers. Carrying love to people we meet.

Ga.5:22 ¶ But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

Love ever gives, Forgives, outlives,

And ever stands With open hands. And while it lives, It gives.

For this is love’s prerogative— O give, and give, and give. John Oxenham (1861–1941)

Ep.5:2 and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Love gives itself; it is not bought. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807–1882)

In love Friendship or parenting or Agape we give ourselves to help another. That gift often concerns a gift of our time in other cases it includes a gift of our rights a gift of forgiveness a gift of help.

Riches take wings, comforts vanish, hope withers away, but love stays with us. God is love. Lew Wallace (1827–1905)

Real love has a permanence about it. It stays faithful for the long haul.

The most revolutionary statement in history is “Love thine enemy.” Eldridge Cleaver (1935– ) 60s radical Black Panther Became a Preacher wrote Soul on Ice Soul on Fire

God is love Thus if God is in our hearts Love is in our hearts

If we are new beings in Christ we are new beings in LOVE

There is only one being who loves perfectly, and that is God, yet the New Testament distinctly states that we are to love as God does; so the first step is obvious. If ever we are going to have perfect love in our hearts we must have the very nature of God in us. Oswald Chambers (1874–1917)

They are the true disciples of Christ, not who know most, but who love most. Frederich Spanheim the Elder (1600–1649)

Love is the way God has given people the ability to see if we are Christians.

We do not live under a law of the jungle, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. We have a new law: Love one another as I have loved you. John Powell

We like someone because. We love someone although. Henri de Montherlant (1896– )

Real love has an {In spite of) characteristic about it.

What does love look like? It has eyes that see the need around it.

It has dirt under its fingernails where it has helped in menial tasks.

It has wide shoulders for helping carry other peoples loads.

It looks like Jesus

If God is love, he is, by definition, something more than mere kindness. And it appears, from all the records, that though he has often rebuked us and condemned us, he has never regarded us with contempt. He has paid us the intolerable compliment of loving us, in the deepest, most tragic, most inexorable sense. C. S. Lewis (1898–1963)

Joy is love exalted; peace is love in repose; long-suffering is love enduring; gentleness is love in society; goodness is love in action; faith is love on the battlefield; meekness is love in school; and temperance is love in training. Dwight Lyman Moody (1837–1899)

In his book The Four Loves, C. S. Lewis wrote, "To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one."

Ep.5:2 and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Life minus love equals zero!

Love alone is capable of uniting living beings in such a way as to complete and fulfill them, for it alone takes them and joins them by what is deepest in themselves. Pierre Teilhard de Chardin (1881–1955)

Col.3:14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

All love unites. Eros Romance Marriage unites totally into one person but friendship church unity love for children all unites us to those we love.

Love is an action, an activity. It is not a feeling. M. Scott Peck (1936– )

Love is demonstrably superior to money, not only on a sentimental plane, but even on a computable basis: The more money you give away, the less you have, but the more love you give away, the more comes back to you. Sydney J. Harris (1917–1986)

Love is like the five loaves and two fishes. It doesn’t start to multiply until you give it away.

Love is my decision to make your problem my problem. Robert Harold Schuller (1926– )

Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained. C. S. Lewis (1898–1963)

1Jn.3:16 ¶ This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.

Love is the medicine for the sickness of the world. Karl Augustus Menninger (1893–1990)

What the world needs now is love sweet love, no not just for some but for everyone. Burt Bacharach

Love: in tennis, nothing; in life, everything .Frank Tyger

Take away love and our earth is a tomb. Robert Browning (1812–1889)

Tell me how much you know of the sufferings of your fellowmen, and I will tell you how much you have loved them. Helmut Thielicke (1908–1986)

True love is always costly. Billy Graham (1918– )

Jn.15:13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends

Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of trouble, attempts what is above its strength, pleads no excuse of impossibility; for it thinks all things lawful for itself, and all things possible. It is therefore able to undertake all things, and warrants them to take effect, where he who does not love, would faint and lie down. Thomas À Kempis (C. 1380-1471)}

Christ kind of love is Servant Leadership

Jesus was the leader of the church but He washed the feet of the disciples

Christ love is Sacrificial love

Where love rules, there is no will to power; and where power predominates, there love is lacking. {Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961)}

If you love yourself in such a way that you compass your own destruction, I have no wish to see you loving anyone as much as you love yourself. Saint Augustine of Hippo (354-430)}

God is love, not, God is loving. God and love are synonymous. Love is not an attribute of God, it is God; whatever God is, love is. If your

conception of love does not agree with justice and judgment and purity and holiness, then your idea of love is wrong. {Oswald Chambers (1874-1917)}

{The Four Loves}, C. S. Lewis wrote, "To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one."

Holmes said, "Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness."

Brotherly Love Philos

Pr.17:17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Philadelphia is a city named for two Greek words

Philos brotherly love and adelphos meaning brother

Buddies Pals

Sometimes valentines are sent to people you feel brotherly love toward.

What is brotherly love?

Best friends. Sharing ideas, cares, intimacy.

It is the three musketeers, Lavern and Shirley,

Many people today have come to understand that this is a higher form of love. They will say something like, "He is not just my husband, he's also my best friend."

A marriage will never last on just EROS. EROS is short term. It is ice cream, very pleasant but it melts quick and will make you sick if that is all you eat.

Again the Bible is clear that this is an important kind of love.

Pr.27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

Ec.4:9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:Ec.4:10 If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

God’s Love For You

Love God

God proved his love on the cross. When Christ hung, and bled, and died, it was God saying to the world, “I love you.” Billy Graham (1918– )

1 John 3:16 (NAB) The way we came to know love was that he laid down his life for us; so we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.

We must repudiate this great, modern wave of seeking God for his benefits. The sovereign God wants to be loved for himself and honored for himself, but that is only part of what he wants. The other part is that he wants us to know that when we have him, we have everything-we have all the rest. A. W. Tozer (1897-1963)}

Whatever you love most, be it sports, pleasure, business, or God, that is your god! Billy Graham (1918– )

Luke 10:27 (NAB) He said in reply, "You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your being, with all your strength, and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself."

You cannot love a fellow creature till you love God. C. S. Lewis (1898–1963)

Give me such love for God and men as will blot out all hatred and bitterness. Dietrich Bonhoeffer (1906–1945)

Human things must be known to be loved: but divine things must be loved to be known. Blaise Pascal (1623–1662)

Isaiah 49:15-16 Can a mother forget her infant, be without tenderness for the child of her womb? Even should she forget, I will never forget you. ¹⁶See, upon the palms of my hands I have written your name; your walls are ever before me. [NAB]

Jeremiah 31:3 the LORD appears to him from afar: With age-old love I have loved you; so I have kept my mercy toward you. [NAB]

A wise lover values not so much the gift of the lover as the love of the giver. Thomas à Kempis (c. 1380–1471)

Hosea 11:4 I drew them with human cords, with bands of love; I fostered them like one who raises an infant to his cheeks; Yet, though I stooped to feed my child, they did not know that I was their healer. [NAB]

John 15:9-10 As the Father loves me, so I also love you. Remain in my love. ¹⁰If you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and remain in his love. [NAB]

John 16:27 For the Father himself loves you, because you have loved me and have come to believe that I came from God. [NAB]

John 17:23 I in them and you in me, that they may be brought to perfection as one, that the world may know that you sent me, and that you loved them even as you loved me. [NAB]

John 17:26 I made known to them your name and I will make it known, that the love with which you loved me may be in them and I in them." [NAB]

Romans 5:5 and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts through the holy Spirit that has been given to us. [NAB]

Romans 5:8 But God proves his love for us in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us. [NAB]

Romans 8:39 nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. [NAB]

1 John 4:8-10 Whoever is without love does not know God, for God is love. ⁹In this way the love of God was revealed to us: God sent his only Son into the world so that we might have life through him. ¹⁰In this is love: not that we have loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as expiation for our sins. [NAB]

1 John 4:19 We love because he first loved us. [NAB]

Love for the Lord is not an ethereal, intellectual, dreamlike thing; it is the intensest, the most vital, the most passionate love of which the human heart is capable. Oswald Chambers (1874–1917)

No one could have had a more sensitive love in human relationship than Jesus; and yet he says there are times when love to father and mother must be hatred in comparison to our love for him. Oswald Chambers (1874–1917)

Four stages of growth in Christian maturity:

Love of self for self's sake.

Love of God for self's sake.

Love of God for God's sake.

Love of self for God's sake.

Love for the Lord is not an ethereal, intellectual, dreamlike thing; it is the intensest, the most vital, the most passionate love of which the human heart is capable. Oswald Chambers (1874-1917)}

It is but right that our hearts should be on God, when the heart of God is so much on us. Richard Baxter (1615-1691)}

It is the heart which experiences God and not the reason. Blaise Pascal (1623-1662)}

A man's spiritual health is exactly proportional to his love for God. C. S. Lewis (1898-1963)}

Our love for God is tested by the question of whether we seek him or his gifts. Ralph Washington Sockman (1889-1970)}

Some people want to see God with their eyes as they see a cow and to love him as they love their cow-they love their cow for the milk and cheese and profit it makes them. This is how it is with people who love God for the sake of outward wealth or inward comfort. They do not rightly love God when they love him for their own advantage. Indeed, I tell you the truth, any object you have on your mind, however good, will be a barrier between you and the inmost truth. Meister Eckhart (C. 1260-C. 1327)}

In 1944, C.E. Goodman of Hallmark Greeting Cards wrote a slogan: "When You Care Enough to Send the Very Best." Ever since, that motto has been used to sell greeting cards. When we look at Jesus Christ, we know that God cared enough to send the very best.

Philos

1 John 2:10 (NAB) Whoever loves his brother remains in the light, and there is nothing in him to cause a fall.

1 John 4:21 (NAB) This is the commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.

John 13:34-35 (NAB I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another. [35] This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."

John 15:12 (NAB) This is my commandment: love one another as I love you.

Paternal

Abraham and Isaiac

David morning over his lost children

Prodigal son

Death of widows son

Mary and Martha at death of Lazarus

Psalm 127:4-5 (NAB)

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children born in one's youth. [5] Blessed are they whose quivers are full. They will never be shamed contending with foes at the gate.

Proverbs 17:6 (NAB) Grandchildren are the crown of old men, and the glory of children is their parentage. are not burdensome,

I said "I love you" I proposed to you. When will you give me your answer?

We should love God Fervently, you could say Passionately or even obsessively.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart

and with all your soul

and with all your mind

and with all your strength. (Mark 12:30 NIV)

God does not want slaves He wants lovers. He wants loving children who obey him because we think He is awesome and all His commands are wonderful. He does not want slaves who obey out of fear or in resignation.

Most of you are familiar with how it was when we met that one who captured your heart.

We’ve all seen two dreamy-eyed young people looking longingly at one another. We’ve all heard of the "look of love." When you love someone with all of your heart, you think about them almost all of the time. You long to be with them. They are the priority in your life. We call this being "in love" and it is wonderful.

Being in love is a genuinely thrilling experience. It is so exciting that many people are overwhelmed by it. And to love God with all your heart is much like that. It means that your heart is devoted to Him. It means that you are faithful to Him. He becomes the most important thing in your life.

A. W. Tozer once said that, "We are called to an everlasting preoccupation with God."

The soul in this context means the ESSENTIAL YOU

The mind in pure theological terms is the Mind the Will and the Emotions but in this great command he tells us with all our souls but He pulls off several of the aspects for special instruction. Heart and Mind are specified along with the soul. Why? Perhaps because He wants us to fully think about the soul as the Mind and emotions specifically. He does not want mental love without emotion nor does He want emotional love without thought.

This is a love that is thoroughly considered.

Loving Jesus doesn’t simply mean turning cartwheels in the aisle.

While we ought to be excited about Him and express our emotions, we are not talking about an emotional expression that bypasses the mind. There is a certain brand of Christian teaching that contends that the mind can get in the way of your relationship with God. Now, it is true that when people rely on their own intellectual capacity to figure out God, they always come up short. God cannot be figured out by human minds. And if you wait until you’ve figured it out, you may not get in on the blessing in the process. Our minds can be a hindrance. But our minds can also be a help. God also tells us to “Come let us reason together says the Lord”

A mind committed to God will become a mind into which God will pour His wisdom and His knowledge. Think about it: we have a relationship with the God of the universe. He has all wisdom and all knowledge. And as we commit our ways to Him, even our thought processes, He will begin to impart His wisdom and His knowledge to us. All of our mental ability ought to be dedicated to God. When it is, I believe He will show us how to really think. It is said we only use about 10% of our brain. Perhaps God is the one who must activate the other 90%.

Not only are we to love God with all your heart, all your soul and all your mind, you are to love Him with all your strength. Strength might be the Will part of the soul.

Christianity is not just a heart dedicated to God, a soul full of passionate love for Jesus, and a mind committed to thoroughly consider the whole Word of God. Christianity must be fully lived out. To love God with all our strength means to love God in all that we do.

There is a notion propagated by some civil libertarians in our country that it is OK to believe whatever you want, as long as you don’t try to practice what you believe in the public arena. But that is not religious liberty at all. To tell a man that he can believe anything he wants is, in itself, nonsense. Of course he can believe what he wants. Who can stop him? Others cannot dictate what you believe in the privacy of your own heart. You can believe what you want in the most atheistic society in the world, but you may not be able to live out that faith in practice. For the Christian faith to be a life-changing, world-altering force, it must be lived out in the lives of those who say they believe. Otherwise, it doesn’t make any difference at all.

To truly love God, you must love Him in all you do. A distinctive Christian lifestyle must be evident in the way you live your life, conduct your business, function on the job, and deal with your wife or husband or children. James tells us that we ought to be "doers of the word." Christianity becomes powerful as it’s lived out in the marketplace of this world.

A lack of genuine love for God is deadly for a church or a church member, many believers are listless and apathetic. We find such a group in the book of Revelation. There, Jesus speaks to the church in Ephesus and says, "I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked men, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place. (Revelation 2:2-5)

Imagine a wife who cooks and cleans and perhaps works outside the home takes care of the kids does everything but the husband knows she does not love him . . . How worthless all that work would be in his eyes. Imagine a wife whose husband fixes the car paint works outside the home even takes care of junior but she knows he does not love her any more. How empty would be their home.

God wants to know DO YOU LOVE ME.

With Pure Devotion

But how is that love relationship to be worked out? Jesus gives us four ways. He tells us first that you must love the Lord your God with all your heart. To love the Lord with all your heart means to love Him with pure devotion.

It’s not enough to give Christ a place in our hearts.

We are called to love Him with all of our heart.

We experience that kind of pure devotion when we first become Christians.

The Scripture calls it our "first love." Do you remember it—the thrill of meeting Jesus for the first time? You came to Him and confessed your sins, and received His forgiveness. You experienced His unconditional love and acceptance. Oh, what a wonderful Savior! How could you help but love Him? Do you remember that time when you gave Jesus your heart? That love can be fresh every day. We never have to forfeit that first love. With all our heart we are to continually love Him.

What does love do how is it applied to life?

If you love God He will be your beloved

love thinks of the other A LOT

Love wants to please the other

Love gives gifts to the other

Love talks about the other

Tithe if you love Jesus; any idiot can honk!

A man's spiritual health is exactly proportional to his love for God. {C. S. Lewis (1898-1963)}

The living God, the human God, is reached, not by the way of reason, but by the way of love and of suffering. It is not possible to know him in order that afterwards we may love him; we must begin by loving him, longing for him, hungering for him, before knowing him. \ {Miguel de Unamuno (1864-1936)}

We ought to love our Maker for his own sake, without either hope of good or fear of pain. {Miguel de Cervantes (1547-1616)}

Deut. 6:5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.

Deut. 10:11-21 The Lord said to me, "Lead the people on their journey. They will enter and take possession of the land I will give them, as I swore to their ancestors."

[12] Israel, what does the Lord your God want you to do? He wants you to fear him, follow all his directions, love him, and worship him with all your heart and with all your soul. [13] The Lord wants you to obey his commands and laws that I'm giving you today for your own good. [14] Remember that the sky, the highest heaven, the earth and everything it contains belong to the Lord your God. [15] The Lord set his heart on your ancestors and loved them. Because of this, today he chooses you, their descendants, out of all the people of the world.

Deut. 11:1 Love the Lord your God, and do what he wants you to do. Always obey his laws, rules, and commands.

Joshua 22:5 Carefully follow the commands and teachings that the Lord's servant Moses gave you. Love the Lord your God, follow his directions, and keep his commands. Be loyal to him, and serve him with all your heart and soul."

Psalm 31:23 Love the Lord, all you godly ones! The Lord protects faithful people, but he pays back in full those who act arrogantly.

Mark 12:30 So love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.'

Matthew 22:37-38 Jesus answered him, " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.' [38] This is the greatest and most important commandment.

Psalm 42:1 As a deer longs for flowing streams, so my soul longs for you, O God.

1 Cor. 8:3 But if they love God, they are known by God.

Psalm 145:20 The Lord protects everyone who loves him,

but he will destroy all wicked people.

Psalm 91:14 Because you love me, I will rescue you.

I will protect you because you know my name.

Exodus 20:6 But I show mercy to thousands of generations of those who love me and obey my commandments.

Deut. 7:9 Keep in mind that the Lord your God is {the only} God. He is a faithful God, who keeps his promise and is merciful to thousands of generations of those who love him and obey his commands.

Romans 8:28 We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God—those whom he has called according to his plan.

Joshua 23:11 Be very careful to love the Lord your God.

Jesus said that on these two commandments to love God with all your heart soul mind and might and love your neighbor as yourself hands all the law and the prophets

Jesus said that he who has my commandments and keeps them he it is who loves me and I will love him and reveal myself to him

Luke 9:23

Luke 14:26-27

Jesus appeared to Peter

Do you love me more than these

What people fish life

That is our choice

Is their something in your life you love more than you love God if so it is sin for you.

A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service. After the benediction he had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation. For the life of him, he couldn't think of the names of those who were to be married. "Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?" he requested. Immediately, nine single ladies, three widows, four widowers, and six single men stepped to the front.

Marriage 1/2 of them end in painful divorces, and yet almost every person chooses to get married and most divorced people choose to get married again, and again and again.

NO MORE BEATING AROUND THE BUSH

A man who had been dating a girl for several years took her to a Japanese restaurant. After looking over the menu for several minutes he asked her, "How would you like your rice--fried or boiled?"

Without a moment's hesitation she looked him straight in the eye and said, "Thrown!"

What does valentines day mean to you?

For many people it means pink cardboard hearts filled with chocolates. Hard candies with cute little sayings like: BE MINE YOUR'S TRUELY. For some valentines day is the annual day to go on a date, or to send little cards to people.

For most people Valentines day is a day to celebrate ROMANTIC LOVE.

It is interesting that this was not the original meaning of the word. Valentine was a Third Century Christian minister and leader. We know very little about him other than the fact that He shared God's love with the people of Rome until someone had him arrested and he was martyered for his faith.

In John 13:35 the Bible says that "By this all men will know that you are my disciples in that you have love one for another." As Christians we are commanded to love our enemies. We not only love people but it the Holy Spirit is living through us, Gal 5:22-23 says that the fruit of the Holy Spirit is Love,...

Valentine must have exuded that love so much that his name 1700 years later still reminds people of love.

3 words for love\

The new Testament has three different Greek words which are all translated LOVE.

Those three are

EROS which means Romance

PHILOS which means brotherly love

AGAPE which means sacrificial love, Christlike love

Of these the least like the love of St Valentine is the romance but that's the way the holiday changed. Obviously since he died for his faith it is clear that he had agape / sacrificial love.

Which love is good?

Which form of love should a Bride and groom seek to have?

All are important. Each is Biblical. Each is a form of love that God designed for a purpose.

But while all are important it is tragic that today so much emphasis is put on EROS so that for many people this the most frail form of love is all they ever have.

The media has helped Americans to be people obsessed with Eros, romance. That is what many Americans is the motive to get married and also the reason to get divorced. "I just don't love her any more."

Eros is not just passion. It is all the unique relationship a husband is to have with a wife. That is best understood by the Biblical verse.

EROS is ROMANCE

Romance is the love of cards and flowers. It is the feeling that we will die without the other person. It is the exclusive love that needs to posess and be possessed by the other person. Eros in full bloom is perfectly content to spend the next 50 years just looking into His/Her eyes. It is the romance that causes the bride or groom to think of nothing but his/her beloved. Writing it in notebooks, carving it on trees.

Eros is the feeling that you are incomplete without the beloved. Even the Philosopher Plato in his book on marriage wrote that every person is only 1/2 of a person and Romance is seeking the other 1/2 that will make them whole.

We live in a romance obsessed world. Everything from our music to our media to our literature spend most of their time talking about romantic love. That is a change from the past. There have always been love songs but they were a small percentage of songs. Now other themes such as faith in God, loyalty to country, and others which were large themes even as recently as the turn of this century, these themes are almost totally neglected.

Romance is good, but it is the least important of the three form of love. And with the media giving it so much hype many people never even think about the other two.

God created Romance

God took Eve from the rib of the man and said that the man would leave his family and she would leave her family and the two would become one flesh.

Ge.2:23 ¶ The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man."Ge.2:24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

This exclusive love, this two becoming one is EROS, ROMANCE.

The Bible is full of romance. Just a few examples include:

Ge.29:20 So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her.

Pr.5:18 May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. Pr.5:19 A loving doe, a graceful deer-- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.

Song.8:7 Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned.

Mk.10:7 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,

PHILOS Brotherly love

Philadelphia brotherly love

Sometimes valentines are sent to people you feel brotherly love toward.

What is brotherly love?

Best friends. Sharing ideas, cares, intimacy.

It is the three musketeers, Lavern and Shirley,

Many people today have come to understand that this is a higher form of love. They will say something like, "He is not just my husband, he's also my best friend." But in that statement is the positive of seeing marriage as more than romance but it looses some of the uniqueness for we can have many friends.

A marriage will never last on just EROS. EROS is short term. It is ice cream, very pleasent but it melts quick and will make you sick if that is all you eat.

Again the Bible is clear that this is an important kind of love.

Pr.17:17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Pr.27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

Ec.4:9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:Ec.4:10 If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

examples of friendships

1S.18:1 ¶ After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself.

These are all advantages of being married and having that close friendship.

AGAPE LOVE

The highest most Christlike, most godly form of love is AGAPE

Agape is not possessive it is giving.

Jn.15:13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends

1Jn.3:16 ¶ This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.

Ep.5:2 and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

We are to have agape love for all others but especially for our families. It is in the home that you learn and practice loving people. If you want to be a great lover, you must practice it a lot. Like the kid growing up who always has a basket ball in his hand may grow up to be on a pro team, we need to always have love in our hand , in our mind, practicing it.

Ga.5:22 ¶ But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

Ep.3:17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,

Ep.5:2 and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Col.3:14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Ep.5:25 ¶ Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

Realistically agape love is not humanly possible. It takes God's supernatural help but He was a party in that marriage covenant. It was a holy time in which Bride and Groom make a vow to God and He holds them up to help them keep that covenant.

Those who belong to God can have His love flowing through them to their families. It is always God's gift to them. That is why the Christian home is stronger because God is opperating in that home, sometimes in unseen ways but always working. That is the meaning of the wedding song.

Sacred Vow Divorce never happens if Both people are yielding to God's Will

Malachi 2:14 And you say, "Why is it?"--Because the LORD is witness between you and the wife of your youth, With whom you have broken faith though she is your companion, your betrothed wife.

Mark 10:9 Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate."

Romans 7:2 Thus a married woman is bound by law to her living husband; but if her husband dies, she is released from the law in respect to her husband.

1 Cor. 7:10-13 To the married, however, I give this instruction (not I, but the Lord): a wife should not separate from her husband ¹¹--and if she does separate she must either remain single or become reconciled to her husband--and a husband should not divorce his wife. ¹²To the rest I say (not the Lord): if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she is willing to go on living with him, he should not divorce her; ¹³and if any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he is willing to go on living with her, she should not divorce her husband.

It is an act of the will.

An honoring of a commitment.

Ephes. 5:28 So (also) husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

Col. 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and avoid any bitterness toward them.

Notice it does not say feel love. Love is a choice and an action.

Genesis 2:18-24 The LORD God said: "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a suitable partner for him." ²¹So the LORD God cast a deep sleep on the man, and while he was asleep, he took out one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. ²²The LORD God then built up into a woman the rib that he had taken from the man. When he brought her to the man, ²³the man said: "This one, at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; This one shall be called 'woman,' for out of 'her man' this one has been taken." ²⁴That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body.

From this we learn that the main reason woman was given to man was to keep us from being alone. To bind us to another. For in that binding we are helped picked up when we fall, taught great lessons, and do our prime living.

UNITY ONENESS

It is found in talking sharing dreams raising children together facing problems together hugging crying laughing toether vacations together work together

It is sharing from the heart in ways you do not share with anyone else.

That sharing is jealous, posessive, belonging to one another.

It includes enjoying love together.

Proverbs 5:18-19 And have joy of the wife of your youth, ¹⁹your lovely hind, your graceful doe. Her love will invigorate you always, through her love you will flourish continually, [6:22] When you lie down she will watch over you, and when you wake, she will share your concerns; wherever you turn, she will guide you.

Eccles. 9:9 Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of the fleeting life that is granted you under the sun. This is your lot in life, for the toil of your labors under the sun.

There will be challenges

And they lived happily ever after is one of the most tragic sentences in literature. It is tragic because it tells a falsehood about life and has led countless generations of people to expect something from human existence that is not possible on this fragile, failing, imperfect earth. Joshua Loth Liebman (1907-1948)

Be to her virtues very kind; Be to her faults a little blind. Matthew Prior (1664-1721)

Too many people think marriage should be fun, or fulfilling, or entertaining. Then they get married and find out it's not always like that. So they keep searching and find even more frustration with another marriage partner.

As I read Scripture, I don't see teachings on happiness as a first principle. Joy, yes - the kind of joy that flows from obedience, from service, from glimpses of the holy. God wants us to do that which glorifies him - to be faithful, to keep his commandments, to seek first his Kingdom.

Selfishness in America is common. But Marriage has much more about what you can give to your family than what you can get out of your family.

Marriage commitment demands that you be willing to die for your spouse. And then you go about daily living for them.

An article in National Geographic several years ago provided a penetrating picture of God's love. After a forest fire in Yellowstone National Park, forest rangers began their trek up a mountain to assess the inferno's damage.

One ranger found a bird literally petrified in ashes, perched statuesquely on the ground at the base of a tree. Somewhat sickened by the eerie sight, he knocked over the bird with am stick.

When he struck it, three tiny chicks scurried from under their dead mother's wings. The loving mother, keenly aware of impending disaster, had carried her offspring to the base of the tree and had gathered them under her wings, instinctively knowing that the toxic smoke would rise. She could have flown to safety but had refused to abandon her babies. When the blaze arrived and the heat had singed her small body, the mother had remained steadfast.

She had been willing to die so those under the cover of her wings would live.

Do you love your family like that? Realize that God does love you like that. Be aware of God's loving wings over you.

"He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge...." Psalm 91:4

Struggles Sins and Forgivness

The key to a healthy marriage is to keep your eyes wide open before you wed...and half closed thereafter." (Love is For a Lifetime, by James Dobson)

I have done thousands of hours of marriage counseling, and yet, I have never seen two unselfish people ever get a divorce. I never have had anyone rush into my office and say, "I want out of this marriage. My spouse has been too good and too nice to me." R.E. Phillips

Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving about three or four things a day unsaid. Harlan Miller

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it, Whenever you're right, shut up. Ogden Nash

Divorce

Luke 16:18 "Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and the one who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.

Proverbs 2:17 Who forsakes the companion of her youth and forgets the pact with her God;

He has proposed to you. He wants us to become his bride, his beloved. The proposal has been made but we must decide whether we will accept that proposal or not.

St Augustine, "god loves each one of us as if there were only one."

HOW DO WE RESPOND TO HIS GREAT LOVE

ISAAC WATTS

"WERE THE WHOLE REALM OF NATURE MINE THAT WERE AN OFFERING FAR TOO SMALL LOVE SO AMAZING SO DIVINE DEMANDS MY SOUL, MY LIFE, MY ALL...

REV. 3:20 BEHOLD I STAND AT THE DOOR AND KNOCK...

AGAPE LOVE

The highest most Christlike, most godly form of love is AGAPE

We are commanded to have agape love for all others but especially for our families

Ga.5:22 ¶ But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

Ep.5:2 and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Col.3:14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Christ kind of love is Servant Leadership

Jesus was the leader of the church but He washed the feet of the disciples

Christ love is Sacrificial love

Christs love is Steadfast Loyalty I will never leave you or forsake you

ALTHOUGH WE USUALLY THINK OF A MARRIAGE TRIANGLE AS A DANGEROUS SITUATION, THERE IS ONE SENSE IN WHICH A THIRD PERSON COULD CREATE THE RIGHT TRIANGLE.

VIOLA WALDEN TELLS THE STORY OF A NEWLY MARRIED COUPLE RIDING A TRAIN ON THEIR HONEYMOON. A SILVER-HAIRED MAN LEANED ACROSS THE AISLE AND ASKED, "IS THERE

God Is Love

The Great Commandments

Sin is antilove

Gods Desire is a union with His people

Garden of Eden His Original Plan

Heaven fulfills it

A THIRD PARTY GOING WITH YOU ON YOUR HONEYMOON?" THE COUPLE LOOKED AT HIM STRANGELY; THEN HE ADDED, "WHEN SARAH AND I WERE MARRIED, WE INVITED JESUS TO OUR MARRIAGE. ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS WE DID IN OUR NEW HOME WAS TO KNEEL AND ASK JESUS TO MAKE OUR MARRIAGE A LOVE TRIANGLE -- SARAH, MYSELF, AND JESUS. AND ALL THREE OF US HAVE BEEN IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER FOR ALL 50 YEARS OF OUR MARRIED LIFE."

Three strands

Leadership magazine carried a short item sent in by Cathern Paxton that illustrates the importance of letting God be uppermost in the marital relationship. She wrote, "A braid appears to contain only two strands of hair. But it is impossible to create a braid with only two strands. If the two could be put together at all, they would quickly unravel. Herein lies the mystery: What looks like two strands requires a third. The third strand, though not immediately evident, keeps the strand tightly woven." Then Paxton concluded, "In a Christian marriage, God's presence, like the third strand in a braid, holds husband and wife together."

Right now theres another important application for this message.

Suppose someone proposed to you and you told them no. Over and over they proposed and you always said not now, maybe later.

Supose even worse you began telling people that you were married to them, you began to wear their last name and make deductions from their bank account as if they were indeed your husband / wife. That is how many people have treated God.

He has proposed to you. He wants us to become his bride, his beloved. The proposal has been made but we must decide whether we will accept that proposal or not.

Valentines Day is God reaching out to you.

Gods love for man

Isaiah 49:15-16 Can a mother forget her infant, be without tenderness for the child of her womb? Even should she forget, I will never forget you. ¹⁶See, upon the palms of my hands I have written your name; your walls are ever before me. [NAB]

Jeremiah 31:3 the LORD appears to him from afar: With age-old love I have loved you; so I have kept my mercy toward you. [NAB]

Hosea 11:4 I drew them with human cords, with bands of love; I fostered them like one who raises an infant to his cheeks; Yet, though I stooped to feed my child, they did not know that I was their healer. [NAB]

John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life. [NAB]

John 15:9-10 As the Father loves me, so I also love you. Remain in my love. ¹⁰If you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and remain in his love. [NAB]

John 16:27 For the Father himself loves you, because you have loved me and have come to believe that I came from God. [NAB]

John 17:23 I in them and you in me, that they may be brought to perfection as one, that the world may know that you sent me, and that you loved them even as you loved me. [NAB]

John 17:26 I made known to them your name and I will make it known, that the love with which you loved me may be in them and I in them." [NAB]

Romans 5:5 and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts through the holy Spirit that has been given to us. [NAB]

Romans 5:8 But God proves his love for us in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us. [NAB]

Romans 8:39 nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. [NAB]

2 Cor. 13:11 Finally, brothers, rejoice. Mend your ways, encourage one another, agree with one another, live in peace, and the God of love and peace will be with you. [NAB]

1 John 4:8-10 Whoever is without love does not know God, for God is love. ⁹In this way the love of God was revealed to us: God sent his only Son into the world so that we might have life through him. ¹⁰In this is love: not that we have loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as expiation for our sins. [NAB]

1 John 4:19 We love because he first loved us. [NAB]