Mothers day
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Today is Mothers day The day none of us can ever forget. Half of us make sure the other half don't forget!
We will be studying Proverbs 31.
It is the passage of Scripture that describes the ideal woman.
It is a very high standard. So high in fact that many women just pretend Proverbs has just 30 chapters. It is a vastly practical book. One that lists the various things this virtuous woman does in her life.
The Bible is full of ideals. God always sets the standard super high, actually perfection. Be Ye perfect even as my father in heaven is perfect.
Some people say it is better to aim at perfection and not hit it than to set your standard at mediocrity and hit it.
But God teaches that He wants us to know that the standard is not only set at perfection it is achievable. He sets perfect standards and they are possible for us, because He lives in us.
Prov 31:10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
He who finds a good wife she is worth more then all the money and things in the world.
There is nothing more valuable to a man then a good wife except the Lord Himself. If you piled everything in the world on one side and your wife on the other your wife is more valuable than all the other things together. Your wife is more important than your job, you house, your money, the church, a position, a pleasure, any person, your wife is more important than all of that together.
There are men who treat their jobs as more important than their wife, that is sinful and stupid.
There are men who treat their friends as more important than their wife, which is sinful and stupid.
There are men who treat themselves as more important than their wives, that is sinful and stupid.
A virtuous wife IS and should be seen by her husband as precious.
More valuable then rubies. gems pearls. In the Hebrew the word can be translated it in any of these ways. We see the word used in literature clearly meaning a pearl or ruby but often as just a gem without type.
In this day few people would have gems. The king would but the common man was lucky to have food in general.
The gem would be like having a fleet of leer jets today. God is telling us that if we have a virtuous woman we are wealthier than those who are the wealthiest in the world.
The pearl which is the most common translation of this word sheds some interesting insight into the treasure a wife can be.
The person who has the oyster does not know from the outside how valuable it is. As a matter of fact the shell might be the ugliest shelled oyster around. And yet the treasure is what is inside.
Until you look beyond the outside beauty you never know the treasure that lies inside of a virtuous woman.
The glory of a pearl is formed as the oyster has had to deal with some irritations. As you all know the oyster produces a pearl because sand gets into the shell. The beauty of all of us is always found when we are struck with obstacles and challenges.
The beauty of a pearl is because it reflects the light and as it does the various colors in the pearl are seen. Only as the light of God is shined on your wife will you see her beauty. Do not look at her in your own sight alone but rather with the light of God giving you wisdom so you can see her inner glory and beauty.
The message of verse ten also points to the way we should look at our wives.
Anything in your life that competes with the value you place on your wife is wrong, sinful, and deadly.
God first
Wife second.
Kids a distant third.
Anything else a further distant distant forth.
These verses go from A to Z in the Hebrew language
The A to Z of women
Prov 31:11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
Marriage is just this: TRUST
It is taking your heart and giving it to another
That is why unfaithfulness is so painful
The heart is totally exposed.
He gives her His Heart and Gains an unfailing prize!
God placed our hearts in the safest position in the body. He put it in the thickest mass of our bodies, and put ribs around them like a cage a safe.
That is because the heart is precious. It should be guarded.
Proverbs 4:23 (NAB) With closest custody, guard your heart, for in it are the sources of life.
When you give your heart to someone makes it vulnerable.
We shake hands, if we shook hearts someone might squeeze too tight. Squeeze squish, Thud, dead, oops, I guess I squeezed too hard.
We give our wives/husbands our hearts, because we trust them. They have the power to squish our hearts and kill us. It kills for one you love to betray that trust.
This is true for the wife giving the husband her heart as well.
Marriage makes you vulnerable. You give that other person the power to destroy you or build you up. You better find a virtuous spouse. You are risking everything.
There are women who instead of taking this sacred trust to heal they tear down their husbands.
It is like they say thank you for your heart I needed a pin cushion and then the rest of their married life they do harm to the husband.
Those marriages often do not last. But divorced also carries with it a lot of consequences.
Notice the find a good wife is the principle.
If you have a good wife she is not your creation. In other words Keyna is not a good wife because I trained her well. She IS a good wife because of who she is. All I can take credit for is picking good. Her family raised her well and she has in her heart goodness.
There are people who marry scoundrels and think they can change them after they are married. That does not happen. Either they live a divided life, divorce, or the Christian changes to live like a lost person.
Everyone wants to marry the RIGHT PERSON but sometimes people despair of finding the RIGHT person and just figure they will settle for 1/2 of it. He is at least a person. If I can’t find the Right one ill take the one that is LEFT.
There is no way to open yourself to more misery than to marry poorly.
So young people, do not be in such a hurry to find a person
Abraham Lincoln had such a wife. She was convinced that he was the worse loser in the world. She made his life such a misery.
Also look at the standard we will be seeing here. It is primarily character. Moral goodness. It is not just about looks. Some boys fall in love with a dimple and make the mistake of marring the whole girl. You are much better off falling in love with the soul.
Unfailing prize Much better than the lottery. because it gives a truer wealth.
But like the lottery it pays off year after year after year.
Prov 31:12 NIV She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
Proverbs 31:12 (NAB) She brings him good, and not evil, all the days of her life.
Are there women who harm their husbands?
What is that good? Every area of Good that you can think about.
Every day in every way she brings him good.
Emotional, Physical Material Spiritual Financial Ethical Practical Domestic Career Social
every way every day
Not just pleasure. But what is good. Moral right.
NOT EVIL
She is a moral compass for the family. There are times when the husband and times when the wife need to stand firm for right and truth and goodness.
The wife should not encourage evil at any time.
There are women who enable bad in their husband’s life. They go with him into places that are harmful to him.
I don’t mean by this that the wife is responsible for the husband’s sins, she is responsible for her influencing him for evil.
She should also bring good to him. This good includes moral good. She will be living a good moral life and reflecting it in all that she does.
I have hurt so badly for some people who have chosen as their life partner people who brought evil into their home, it was like they opened the door to hell and let death and evil to come into their life.
The wife who brings good into the home is like the gateway to Heaven bringing good and God into the home.
Prov 31:13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.
She takes care of the material and personal needs of the family.
She works hard at making the house a home.
She takes pride in her work and does it with talent and effort.
Prov 31:14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.
One of the big time drains for many women is going here and there on those countless errands that the family needs done. Whether it is to the store to buy the best for the cheapest, or whether it is taking the kids somewhere, the good wife is doing what the family needs.
She cares about expenses. There are marriages that have ended because one of the two parties had been totally uncaring about the family finances. This wife cares and uses wisdom in spending.
That is even more true in the Christian home because we don’t believe the money belongs the family instead we know it belongs to God and is entrusted into our hands to accomplish Gods ministry.
There are many in the feminist movement and the liberal press who have glorified the working woman and put down the stay at home wife/mother. The Bible glorifies the homemaker wife.
Decide who you trust: the liberal media or God's Word.
It is the innate part of women to value the home and family. It is against their natural instincts to desire to go outside the home. yet there are women who make that choice every day.
That is not to reject those women who had to work outside the home. But rather to say the good / the best standard is HOME over JOB. Family over company,
The world would say you are wasting your potential if you stay at home especially if you have a college education.
Nonsense. It is far more complex to raise children and manage a home than it is to make or sell widgets in the world of business.
More importantly it is far more IMPORTANT to raise up men and women of God then it is to create an advertising campaign for a new toothpaste or to oversee a corporate merger.
In 100 years your company will probably be out of business your offspring will have gone from 2 to 4 to 8 to 16 to 32 and that is just with 2 children in each generation. (average 20 year generation).
32 people each living well if you took the home seriously or 32 monsters if you just had kids and let them grow without supervision.
Prov. 31:15 She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.
She is diligent.
She works hard and long hours for her family.
No one who is at all discerning would think that a mother’s job is easy. It is very demanding. And done in LOVE.
Notice also she provides food for her servant girls. She is not prideful she knows that all people are created by God and special in HIS sight. While people vary in position they do not differ in essential value, that is God set.
Prov. 31:16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She is not stupid. She does not avoid all business.
The husband does not control all the money.
The vineyard produces grapes. Grape juice was a luxury. It was a pleasure in a time your choices to drink were goat milk, cow milk, water, or water.
Grape juice was awesome.
It is good to want to give luxuries to the family as long as the things and the second jobs do not become more important than the main job.
Prov. 31:17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.
She keeps herself fit.
Many women once they are married figure since they are no longer fishing they don’t need to take care of the bait. But staying healthy and fit is a part of godliness. Not the main part but a part nonetheless.
She keeps herself healthy so that she can fully participate in all that God and Life have in store for them.
Prov. 31:18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.
She enjoys her work. She enjoys her effort because of the good it did in her family.
She puts long hours at her task and enjoys it.
Her ministry to her family is what she enjoys.
Prov. 31:19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
This task would be painful. It was tedious. It was not the most interesting part of life. So much of the wife/mothers work is thankless tedious, hidden, no one notices, and is painful backbreaking work.
The good wife is diligent. Not a quitter.
You say, this is not fun Well gee God never told you that it would all be a thrill.
But when we are faithful in the mundane things it is when we are really pleasing God.
Billy Graham’s wife Ruth had a sign over her sink Divine Worship done here three times a day.
It is those times when we demonstrate obedience and they can become acts of worship.
Prov. 31:20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
It is a sin for the wife to want to run out from the family and be involved in everything outside the house. I heard about a lady who was so involved in charities and organizations that she never spent time with her own family. She was at a book club on Monday, bridge club on Tuesday flower club on Wednesday Crafters on Thursday Save the hunched back grandmothers meeting on Friday and two meetings on Saturday. That lifestyle of running from the home, neglecting the home, forgetting the most important ministry of life is sinful. That woman died and in her obituary they had simply written, cause of death she was clubbed to death.
This woman was compassionate, charitable.
She cares about the poor.
The other side of the error would be to become to focused on the inside of the family that there is no attempt to care to minister to or reach out beyond the family.
It is important to understand marriage.
It is not only to spend time with each other gazing lovingly into her / his eyes. It is to become a powerful ministry team where together you serve God in ways that you could not do it before.
Prov. 31:21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; For all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She is conscientious about her kids.
She thinks ahead about what they will need.
She sends them out like that picture in Family Circle one time here was a boy with long johns clothes sweater snow suit boots scarf big hat mittens he looks like his is twice his normal size. He can’t move and his mom tells him, Now go out and have fun.
He just stands there 'Mom I can't move!
The fact is that God has built the moms to protect the children.
It is very Godlike. He watches over us.
He has made parents to watch over children. It is both parents jobs but we are wired differently.
Fathers are protective in some ways and mothers in others.
Prov. 31:22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Notice she again saves money on expensive clothes. Instead she makes her own.
These clothes are not just the basic clothes.
And she does not make the simplest kind of clothing.
There is nothing in the Bible that says since you are saved you should be dressed plain, well ugly clothes.
The Christian woman or man should care about how they look.
Adrian Rogers described it saying sometimes a woman will come to me and say that she is afraid that her husband is running around, and you would never say but you can’t help thinking, well no wonder . While it never makes it right on the mans side, she is standing there in a faded bath robe, two different colored slippers and hair done up in coat hangers.
This man has been at work all day with women who are dressed for success and sometimes for flirting.
The wise woman will not let herself go for her marriages sake.
She wants to be attractive to her husband. She wants his attention she desires the romance.
She also cares about how she looks for others.
She wants her husband to be proud of her.
Prov. 31:23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
Behind every successful man is a supportive wife and a surprised mother in law.
The husband has time for civil affairs because she is so effective at home.
She supports him in what he does.
One of the main jobs a woman has is to build up her husband. To empower him with a sense of confidence that only she can give.
Prov. 31:24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She has an EBAY business.
She has a business that she can do from HOME.
There is nothing wrong with working but it should never interfere with Marriaging
or Moming
Prov. 31:25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; She can laugh at the days to come.
She if strong
Dignified
and full of Hope
She is confident based on her preparation but also because she KNOWS GOD
26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
A Godly woman will be full of the wisdom of God.
She is a child’s first teacher, first priest.
She is entrusted with not only feeding the child physical food but spiritual as well.
The Godly mom will be consistently teaching God's word and principles to her children.
They so much need to hear and learn and grow spiritually.
Understand the lack of Godly teaching by the mother is on a spiritual level like locking the child up in a closet and starving them physically.
Many children in nice houses who have everything physically are starving spiritually.
Notice also that this religious teaching this wisdom is not harsh or hard but rather kindly.
It should be centered on love and Gods goodness not on rules and harshness.
Prov. 31:27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Laziness is a common temptation in many people and it is perhaps easiest and most tempting in areas where no one sees what you are doing. The wife at home might have that temptation. It is a virtuous wife who will not indulge idleness.
Prov. 31:28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
Her reward:
Her children will forever be indebted and appreciative of what she has done.
Her husband will forever be in love with her.
She won't get to retire after 30 years with a company and get a gold watch.
She will get a granddaughter.
These two rewards {kids and husband who love and respect her), are awesome much more valuable then the rewards a job can offer.
Prov. 31:29 Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.
Prov. 31:30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
The beauty of the virtuous woman is not external it is internal
It is not physical it is spiritual
It is not temporal it is eternal
It is based on her own powerful and personal relationship with God where she has acknowledged Him as Lord of her life.
Prov. 31:31 Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Husbands You need to give her what she has earned! Honor your wife!!!!
Children You need to give her what she has earned! Honor your mom!!!!
It is a horrible sin for such sacrificial giving such godly living to go on unappreciated and expressed.